A Message To Madison

As the day gets closer, I find myself thinking back to the days you were stumbling around in your ruby red slippers pretending to be Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Now you are a beautiful young adult. Yet these last few days I see you as the little girl who stole my heart.

How did we get here so quickly? I am pretty sure it was yesterday we were snuggled up together watching the Power Puff Girls. You were defiantly my little Bubbles. And I know it was just last week I was walking you into your first day of kindergarten. I remember dropping you off  and crying in my car on the way to work. You were growing up so fast. And look at you now….graduating high school.

I am so proud of you. I am so proud of you I am not sure I can describe it in words. I am excited to see where God leads you in life. But at the same time I am sad. I am sad that my little girl isn’t little anymore. I don’t know if this is normal or not, but the last few days I have found myself crying thinking about your childhood. I cry when I think back and see you playing with your Bratz dolls, dancing to Cheetah Girls or watching Polly Pocket over and over again.

I thought about your first Dip N’ Dots. I don’t know if you remember it or not, but we were at the Starlight Theater in Kansas City. Your dad and I took you to see the Wizard of Oz for your 3rd birthday. We shared a bowl of those delicious little ice cream pebbles. As I type this, I can see your little face holding your basket with Toto in it. I think back to the nights I would be doing my homework and you would be asleep on my chest as I typed my assignments on the computer.

You were my little sidekick. Do you remember when I would pick you up from  Andrea’s house I would take you to Quick Shop and you would get a Bug Juice and a candy lipstick? That was so much fun. I never realized it at the time, but those few minutes out of my day have turn into a lifetime of memories.

I can still see you singing The Climb in the talent show and how confident you were. You amazed me that day. And I was one proud momma. And when you were in CYT and was part of Charlie Brown. Another proud momma moment. You were in your element at the time. I am so glad I was there to witness those moments. I am so glad God made me your mom.

I know not everything was roses and rainbows. There were a lot of things that just plain sucked. What makes you so special is that you were the one that made me a mom. So everything that you did first, I also experienced for the first time. Looking back sometimes I wonder how you or I survived. There were some parenting moves I played that didn’t turn out the way I pictured. At times I honestly didn’t know what to say in some situations. And there were other situations where I said too much.

All I can hope is that I have taught you the following things.

Put God first.
You are beautiful.
Be yourself.
Be kind.
Always know you are loved deeply and have a place to come home to.

I am not sure how the next few weeks are going to go. I am going to try to keep myself composed, but at this moment it is going to be hard. Just bare with me. And I am sure you are a big pile of emotions as well. Like I said earlier, when you experience something for the first time, I am experiencing it for the first time as well.

Thank you for being a kick ass daughter. You are going to do great things in this world. You know when you were little, you would click those ruby red slippers and dream of going on a enchanted adventure, maybe somewhere over the rainbow perhaps. Baby, now you can click those ruby reds and go anywhere you want to go. Nothing can stop you!

I love you Madi.



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